English Marking Scheme

8 05 2010

This is how to get full marks in ANY English Exam…

1 Have neat and Fancy Handwriting [10 marks]

2 In every essay write at the bottom a ‘Thanks You’ note to the teacher, saying how you couldnt have possibly written this without them [20 Marks]

3 Dont use highligters/vivids ect [2 marks]

4 Recite exactly what the teacher says in class

5 Include your teaches favourite type of tea/hobvby or sport [5 marks]

6 Have parents who are their bosses [100 marks]

7 Write Poshly, and pretend you are English [10 marks]

8 Do what you are supposed to do on the Test [1 mark]

9 Write ‘DONT DO DRUGS’ somewhere in your paper [4 marks]

10 Use long words [15 marks]

Hope this helps you in any upcoming tests or exams!

Will Work For Beer

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The Solution to all our Problems

7 05 2010

 

President Rock!

If you are eager for a way out, but dont want to risk voting for the next George Bush, why not vote president rock? His decisions wont affect anyone!

No More War! President Rock wont declare war, no matter how hard other countries try!

Less Taxes! President Rock doesnt need money to buy fancy houses and giggling girlfriends!

Less Pointless Decisions! President Rock wont appoint anyone as “Vice Super Extra President Of Novelty Items”

Good Environment! President Rock loves the Environment! And unlike other presidents, he would prefer the Earth saying alive for at least a few more years!

Less Badly Spent Money! President Rock wont waste money and paper making stupid ads like this one!

So Vote President Rock, Do the Right Thing!





Things to do in a Lift 11-20

7 05 2010

This is a small compilation of the things to do in a lift. We now have over 45 different things, so be sure to visit the whole list here.

11 Explain to the other passengers that you are invisible.

12 Explain to the Wall your plans of World Domination

13 Attempt to sell your invisible items to the other passengers

14 Try teach the other passengers Chinese (or any other language) correct their pronounciation for any tiny mistake.

15 Tap dance while singing im a little tea pot over and over

16 Make loud farting noises and blame it on other passengers. Used best when Its only you and one other person

17 Convince people that you are the Real Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter

18 Attempt to sell 10 cents for 5 dollars.

19 Ask for a disabled seat

20 Spit on your hand and ask to shake other peoples

Have a suggestion? Comment!





Quick Laughs

15 07 2008

Blonde Special!

For a few Days, We will be going over our Blonde Jokes! We’ll start with a few old ones, before getting to the new ones! Here is the 3rd…

There were three blondes stuck on a desert island. Their Fancy cruise boat had crashed but they were only 2km from shore. They couldnt stand being without their make up so they decided to go and get it. The First blonde swam 1/4 of the way then drwoned. The second blonde managed to swim 1/2 the way, then drowned. then the third blonde swam 3/4 of the way, got tired and swam back to the island.

WillWorkForBeer

The Coming Soon Page will still be Released on the 17th! Or maybe Late night on the 16th!





Quick Laughs

13 07 2008

Blonde Special!

For a few Days, We will be going over our Blonde Jokes! We’ll start with a few old ones, before getting to the new ones! Here is the 2nd…

What do you do If a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run! She’s got a Grenade in her Mouth!

Please dont be offended if you are blonde, we dont mean you any harm (apart from that pin we just threw at you…hehehe) and just hope this cheers you up!

The Coming Soon Page will still be Released on the 17th! Or maybe Late night on the 16th!

WillWorkForBeer!





Quick Laughs

13 07 2008

Blonde Special!

For a few Days, We will be going over our Blonde Jokes! We’ll start with a few old ones, before getting to the new ones! Here is the first…

How do you make a Blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell them a Joke on Wednesday!

Please do not be offended by any of these jokes, especially if you Are a blonde, we know you have the brain capacity of any regular monkey (How long did it take you to notice that?)

The coming Soon Page is Coming Soon, or just July 17th! Wohoooo!

WillWorkForBeer!





English Exam Marking Scheme

11 07 2008

This is how to get full marks in ANY English Exam…

1 Have neat and Fancy Handwriting [10 marks]

2 In every essay write at the bottom a ‘Thanks You’ note to the teacher, saying how you couldnt have possibly written this without them [20 Marks]

3 Dont use highligters/vivids ect [2 marks]

4 Recite exactly what the teacher says in class

5 Include your teaches favourite type of tea/hobvby or sport [5 marks]

6 Have parents who are their bosses [100 marks]

7 Write Poshly, and pretend you are English [10 marks]

8 Do what you are supposed to do on the Test [1 mark]

9 Write ‘DONT DO DRUGS’ somewhere in your paper [4 marks]

10 Use long words [15 marks]

Hope this helps you in any upcoming tests or exams!

Will Work For Beer