English Exam Marking Scheme

This is how to get full marks in ANY English Exam…

1 Have neat and Fancy Handwriting [10 marks]

2 In every essay write at the bottom a ‘Thanks You’ note to the teacher, saying how you couldnt have possibly written this without them [20 Marks]

3 Dont use highligters/vivids ect [2 marks]

4 Recite exactly what the teacher says in class

5 Include your teaches favourite type of tea/hobvby or sport [5 marks]

6 Have parents who are their bosses [100 marks]

7 Write Poshly, and pretend you are English [10 marks]

8 Do what you are supposed to do on the Test [1 mark]

9 Write ‘DONT DO DRUGS’ somewhere in your paper [4 marks]

10 Use long words [15 marks]

Hope this helps you in any upcoming tests or exams!

Will Work For Beer

Site Changes

This isnt really going to make you laugh, but we are going through some SITE CHANGES! Yay! Now, while visiting our site, you may experience nausea, slight dizziness, vomiting and seisures. If something isnt in the Right place, dont worry too much, we are trying different things.

But this is something WE need to know from YOU.

Comment and tell us weather we should keep our reviews page, or relace it with something else. (Not telling what!) *Burning Suspense*

Keep in mind the Coming Soon feature is still coming soon. We have left a clue somewhere on the site to give you an idea of what we have in mind…

Sports and their REAL uses!

You might see no reason for sports, but this little guide will prove you wrong and make you wanna go outside and play, just like when you were younger,  from 90 years ago to ever since you found this blog and wasted your life reading this…

Tennis, BaseBall and Cricket:The Sole Joy of imagining your boss’ head as the ball. Batter Up! He hits it, Home Run! (and just hit the ball as hard as you can in tennis)

Rugby, American Football: The governemnts way of re enacting gladiator fights!

Soccer: Two Words; Sliding Tackle!

Table Tennis, Badminton, Wii anything: “Oops. I didnt mean to let go of the racket. And i definetely didnt mean for it to hit you there“

RaceCars: Drifts, skids and CRASHES! Yeah Baby!

Water Polo: Piggybacks in the water can really effect wheather you are gonna drown or not…

Skiing, SnowBoarding: Block up the jumps or ramps! Or slide full speed into other people! And havent you always wanted a foot extention to kick people far away from you?

I hope this gets you back outside, even if your neighbour mysteriously dissapears or your boss was found on the other side of the Sahara Desert…Blame it on the Govenment!

Will Work For Beer

Blogging Tips

Since we have had our 150th comment anniversary (youll find that comment somewhere on this site) and This is our 5oth Post, I decided to give a few hints to fellow bloggers, to celebrate this pointless anniversary!

1 Leave understanding comments on other people’s sites. You could start right here right now (asking, why?)

2 Dont use 160000 tags. They dont get including in the tag surfer. Its best to stick with around 1000 (Just Kidding, around 10 will work)

3 Sign up to websites like blogcatalog, blogsatwar and Links pages

4 DoNt TaLk LikE tHiS or tttthhhhiiiisssss , deffenetelii not dis

• or
• even
• this

5 Post alot

6 View http://willworkforbeer.wordpress.com (Highly Reccommended!!!!)

Thats all, another pointless anniversary, come and gone.

Enjoy

Will Work For Beer

10 Stupid Ways to Save Money!

Please, Dont try ANY of these! We hold no responsibility for

• Angry Wives
• Bad vegetables
• Gas Bills
• The Environment
• Getting Fat
• Being a Hobo
• Mad Cow Disease (we are serious)

1 Travel all across the city in your car buying the cheapest of everything in at least 30 different shops. Make sure they are all far away. Dont think about your gas (petrol) bill.

2 Keep the lights off at all times. Dont even go on the computer. Stop Reading This!

3 Eat less. Alot Less (DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!)

4 Grow your own vegetables. Use cheap products that never work.

5 Go to McDonalds. Their Food is cheaper. (DO NOT TRY THIS EITHER!)

6 Dont Buy a house. Live on the street.

7 Quit Smoking. This one actually Works!

8 Wash things by hand. Itll take so much time you probably wont get your work done.

9 Get rid of your insurance.

10 Live in the Country. The only part of this that doesnt work is finding a job.

Yes, if you have notised things being changed on the site, we are updating it. Like you may have guesses, it is ‘Coming Soon’

Quick Laughs

Here is the NEW Joke of the Month! Enjoy!

A Girl walked into a room and asked her mother “Mum, Why am I called Coffee?” The mother replied “because I spilt some coffee on your head when you were born” She walks away, satisfied. Then another girl comes in and asks ” Mum, Why am I called Milk?” Again, the mother answers “because I spilt some milk on your head when you were born” She walks away, also happy with the answer. Then the last girl walks in and asks her mother “ugg ugghhh uh…?”. Her Mother replies “oh, Shut Up Fridge!”

This has been added to Our ‘Quick Laughs’ Page!

Will Work For Beer

Ok, Ok! If you want to know about the coming soon page, well its coming soon. There is a clue about it somewhere one the site (No, its not the password) but I am not revealing where until, well, its soon and Ill un pass protect it!

Opinion Poll

I have made an anonymous poll, for your personal opinions. No matter who you are please feel free to vote here.  (Click the Link) I would be glad to know others opinions, on this subject.

Thanks in Advance

Will Work For Beer

My LolCatz

Just a few LolCatz I created here To show you.

Hope you enjoyed these

Will Work For Beer

Quick ‘Things to Do In An All Purpose Store’

Here is a breif adaptation of the ‘Things to Do in an All Purpose Store’, found at http://willworkforbeer.wordpress.com/things-to-do/things-to-do-in-a-all-purpose-store/

Try to purchase individual products (Works well with grapes and individual sale cola)

Hide in the changing rooms, with the door half open. If anyone walks in scream “Do You Mind!”

Make your own ‘Try Me’ Signs

Use a security camera as a mirror to scratch your self

Hide empty beer bottles in the Staff Only Zones

Hope you enjoyed these things to do, but make sure nobody you know is around when you try these!

Will Work For Beer

Kung Fu Panda

I saw this movie a while ago, but since KittyPitty reviewed it I didnt see the need. Then I realised, Who Cares, Ill review it too!

Kung Fu Panda is your Predictable yet Lovable story of Believing in Yourself. Jack Black does a good job as Po, the overweight Kung Fu Dreaming bear. But this story is better than the usual disney cartoon, because of the humor. He is a figure we can all relate to, and the movie ends up with lots of laughs, although half of them will be loud children when Po falls down the stairs. Overall I give this movie a 4/5. It is G for General Audiences.

Will Work For Beer